THE BALANCE CHALLENGE
Four women
disclose
how
they keep
work
and ‘life’
in harmony
By MICHELLE ONODA
Photography KIMBERLY DAWN
When you hear the words "balance challenge," what
do you think of?
Balance can be defined
as the state of equilibrium of the body,
mental or emotional stability, harmonious
proportion as in the design or arrangement
of parts. Challenge denotes ... dedication.
How do we achieve balance in our
busy, fast-paced world?
For women in this 21st century our
roles are varied and complex. As women,
we are wives, mothers, daughters, sisters,
aunts, friends, businesswomen,
executives, entrepreneurs and much
more. With our multiple roles, how do
we fluidly and delicately dance that fine
line we call balance?
The topic of work-life balance has not
gone unnoticed by employers. As the
number of women in the work force
increases, employers will be challenged
to provide family-friendly solutions for
working people who need flexibility for
child care and elder care. Women will
often continue to have primary responsibility
for home and family matters, which
can affect work attendance negatively.
So for employers, what might these solutions
include?
Realizing the need for greater flexibility,
a number of employers are using job sharing,
part-time employment, staff working
from home or telecommuting, flexible
starting and stop times and periodic paid
and unpaid work interruptions for child care and elder care. Companies that are
inflexible will drive qualified and committed
employees to employers that address
family issues with creativity and concern.
So how is balance perceived and
achieved? How is balance demonstrated?
When do we know we are in balance,
and how would we know when
we are out of balance? What are its
effects on others, and are those effects
merely short-term, or could there be
some long-term implications? Just how
do we define balance?
For Melinda Truskowski, balance is a
process of redefining. She is president
and managing director of the Rocky
Mountain Region of Environmental
Resources Management. As the name
implies, this company is involved with
environmental concerns, assisting
clients with issues affecting the environment,
such as site clean-up, air
quality and staying in compliance with
construction management.
In her professional life, Truskowski
defines balance as compromise and a constant
process of redefining. "I realize that I
am one person and that means a limited
amount of time," she says. "To maximize
my time and to be able to get the most
completed, I delegate — to my assistant
and my management team. It is important
to surround yourself with good people.
“Balance also means making lists. I
make one list for the office and one list
for home. Then I keep moving through
the things I need to do; I don’t stop. At
the office I put intentional structure into
my week. On Mondays and Fridays I
receive reports. By having these reports
on specific days I can structure and evaluate
what is happening and check for
problems and plan accordingly."
By taking this proactive approach
Truskowski manages her workload in
such a way that few things become
urgent. Important also is being flexible in
managing her expectations and not
overscheduling. She further explains, "I
learned to manage my workload and set
boundaries so that even if something
appears to be urgent, I need to identify if
it is truly important."
To reduce stress and keep her mental
focus, Truskowski exercises and practices
karate. It is a sport that she enjoys and one
in which her entire family participates.
Once at home, balance is an important
factor in her family’s daily life. She retains
the services of a housekeeper and has the
dog groomed to free her time for family
activities. Truskowski explains, "We have a
family calendar, and we have planned
meals. Once a week we look over the
cookbook and plan our weekly menu.
Then we go to the grocery store only once.
My husband gets home before me, so he
prepares the meals so that when I arrive home, dinner is ready."
When the weekends arrive, they are
devoted to family and the children’s
activities. It is good communication,
the sharing of household duties and a
flexible schedule that keeps the balance
in the Truskowski household. One
final point she shares are words of wisdom
from her mother: “Have a good
sense of humor, and don’t take yourself
too seriously.”
Truskowski concludes, "This spells balance for me now. As our children get
older and transition to the next stage,
we will once again redefine balance."
"If you compile all your experiences at
the intersection of where you are now and
where you want to go, that is perfect balance,"
according to Helena Haynes-
Carter. She works for Xcel Energy as manager
of supplier diversity. She has worked
for Xcel for three years and enjoys being
able to assist businesses.
Haynes-Carter appreciates the fact
that you do not achieve on your own,
that others have come before you.
Balance for her is aided through technology. "A Blackberry is one way I elect to
keep balance," she says. With her busy
schedule she blocks out one hour in the
morning to read and journal. This sets
the tone for her day.
"Typically," she says, "my week has
me 50 percent in the office and 50 percent
out of the office. No day is the
same. In addition, I attend numerous
outreach events and travel for my job.
Professionally, I have put an internal set
of values together. These help me determine
when I am humming along and
whether things are going effortlessly or
not. This is my reality check."
Haynes-Carter continues, "I have
had the benefit of wonderful mentors
who have walked before me and
shared with me their pearls of wisdom.
This information can help me and others
to avoid 'burnout.’ For me, my
resources are my husband, family,
friends and colleagues and professional
peers. They can offer a fresh perspective,
and I listen to them. I derive much
satisfaction in my professional life from
being able to assist others gain success
and giving back to the community."
Haynes-Carter realizes that her children
have seen her example and hopes
to demonstrate that they can be whatever
they set their minds to be. She
also shares the reality of life that when
you fall down, you just get up and
move on.
Even though her job requires travel,
when Haynes-Carter is home, she makes
family time very important. She explains, "My family knows that I value them and
will adjust my schedule to meet their
needs. For example, my daughter and I
spend time shopping. I believe that it is
important that she sees me as a full person,
a woman, wife, mom and professional.
I want to model balance for my
children. When you are doing something
that you love, you can feel the endorphins,
and you know that you are in the
right space."
"My two heroes were my uncle and
my dad,” says Beth Lackey, of Time
Warner Telecom. Both men were powerful
and successful.
She goes on to say, “My uncle was
very involved in the space program and
had a significant role in its development.
My father was not only a successful businessman
but was very involved in politics.
My dad loved politics, but in 1972
we moved to Denver because my dad
wanted better balance in his life, and
that meant being able to spend more
time with his family. These two men
were my heroes and my mentors. They
realized my potential in business before I
realized I had such.
“Then one day everything changed.
When I was just 15 years old, I found
out that my uncle was dying of cancer.
My father went to see him one last
time. It was heartbreaking knowing
that I was going to lose someone that I
loved. What I was not prepared for is
what happened just four days after my
father returned from visiting my uncle
for the last time. My father unexpectedly
died of an aneurysm at age 56.
"My last conversation with my uncle
was profound. He said, 'You need to
understand this life lesson. Your father
found the right balance in his life. He
balanced his career and his family. I didn’t
find the right balances. If I could
change one thing, I would have put
more balance into my life. Don’t forget
as you move forward; don’t lose sight of
the gift your father gave you.'"
Beth Lackey has never forgotten the
lessons, values and gifts that her heroes
gave her. Today she is senior vice president
of Denver Operation Center of Time
Warner Telecom. With 25 years in telecom,
Lackey is enjoying the level of success
that her father and uncle predicted.
"Time Warner is a good fit for me,"
Lackey says. "They challenge me to learn
more. They have afforded me greater
professional growth and the opportunity
to be home more. For me, balance and
harmony is having your career and family
life in the state of balance. It is making
sure the things that are important in my
life have the time that they need."
Lackey continues, "The nature of my
job requires that I work some long
hours. Sometimes that can be 15 to 16
hours a day. That is just reality. My husband
is the one who helps me when I
get out of balance. He is my reality
check; he frames me up. When I am
stressed, I have a tendency to work
more. That is why I surround myself
with people who are on track. These
are the people that tell me the things I
need to hear. I trust them and listen to
their advice."
Lackey has also had women mentors
in her life. She says, "They are the ones
that shared with me that I don’t need to
get an 'A' on everything. It is OK not to
be perfect. I give myself ground rules,
and I evaluate what is critical. I have
come to realize that there are things you
want to do outstandingly, and some
things can be done just OK.
"In my personal life I am blessed
with a wonderful husband and family.
We have made conscious decisions for
our family. Early on in our marriage my
husband and I realized that I would be
happier in the work place, and he was
willing to be a stay-at-home dad. At
that time, this was a relatively new
idea, but it has worked out well for our
family. Our children have benefited
greatly by this arrangement. My husband
activities and is currently serving as
president of the school's PTO.
“Our children are proud of their dad
and can’t imagine life any other way. I
believe it is important to set your priorities,
values and beliefs and stick to
them. For us, this means making our
family our focus and making choices,
such as staying in our home that we
purchased in 1992, which has allowed
us more options."
Aimee Cohen has created an environment
where she balances mind, body
and spirit. Eight years ago she left a job
as a national sales recruiter to start her
own home-based business, Cohen
Career Consulting. Now on the other
side of the recruitment table, she helps
clients find the right job or even their
dream job.
Cohen’s approach is very stylized. She explains, "I give my clients just what they
need." Whether it is writing a cover letter
or résumé that brings results, or
coaching them through the initial interview
process where they feel empowered,
Cohen’s approach is unique.
"It is important to know yourself," she
says, "and that means understanding your
strengths and weaknesses. Once you have
completed that process, picture the environment
that is right for you." She
encourages her clients to have a clear picture
of what brings them joy and happiness
and then to make it their vision. She
advises,"It is by clearly identifying what
you want, what feels right, that you take
that vision out into the job market."
For Cohen the balance challenge
means constantly re-evaluating her
needs and priorities. Her No.1 priority is
her family, and she feels that her greatest
accomplishment is her children.
She says, "While they are my first priority,
I must make daily decisions to
maintain my focus. There are times when
there is a conflict between what my children
would like for me to do and what I
need to do for business. When this arises,
I look at it this way: Is this a need or
request? If it is a need, the decision is
clear. When it is something that I must
do for myself personally or professionally,
they understand.
"I have learned the best way for me
to keep on task is to make lists. It allows
me to shift gears and to stay in the
moment. This is a skill I worked to
acquire," Cohen explains.
"When I am in an interview, I am 100
percent there. I do not allow my mind to
wander on to other tasks. Also, I am realistic
about my time. Women can have
the 'disease to please.' By giving into
that, you will meet the needs of others
by sacrificing yourself in the process. For
now, I may not be able to spend as much
time as I once was able to volunteering
at my children’s school or having lunch
with my girlfriends, but circumstances
can change and when they do, I will reevaluate
them once again." Cohen is
always looking for the solution to a problem. "No doubt," she says, "this is
because my educational background is in
political science and comparative law."
Cohen realizes that while she is
engaged in work that she loves that
gives her personal and professional
growth and that she has a wonderfully
supportive husband and family, others
may have challenging circumstances.
Her advice: "Surround yourself with
as much healthy support as possible.
Seek out a network of individuals in your
chosen field; attend seminars; create
your environment. I am a believer in that
it takes a village to make things happen.
Also, realize when you are out of balance.
For me, that means that I have not
gone to King Sooper to purchase Ritz
Bits for my children’s lunches. Being out
of balance means for me that my family
suffers. It is important that my children
see a model of balance; it is what they
will take into their future life."
Balance is an ever-changing challenge.
As women, our lives are complex,
and there are multiple demands on our
time and energy. Being able to set appropriate
boundaries and having realistic
expectations will create the necessary
structure with which we can move and
navigate our lives.
Once balance is achieved, it can
change and may need to be redefined
and redirected. Situations can enter into
our lives and disturb the balance. It is by
recognizing, regrouping and renegotiating
that we can move forward.
Balance is the delicate dance of life.
